This weekend I went to a wedding with a bunch of friends and spent most of the day drinking, and then most of the next day lounging around my parents house. ![]() It made me feel so good, that even just in two weeks, physical changes were happening. My friend actually noticed the changes I have been making because she said “your face looks thinner!” I almost cried tears of joy when I heard that. I haven’t gotten take out (except today), and I only ate out twice. I may have taken a nap, but I’m not going to let it define me as lazy.įor two weeks in a row, I have gone to the gym four times a week. I’m rested up, but I’m still going to go to bed at a decent time so I can have a good and productive day tomorrow. I’m rested up, and I’m going to message more people later and try to get some sales. I’m rested up and I have the energy to go make dinner instead of buy it. I’m not going to let it negatively affect me. I feel like somebody is constantly hammering away at me, chipping me away, until someday there is nothing left. The internal arguments I have with myself over these simple daily things I think this is what might be wearing me down. My mind can’t seem to shake the thought that I have enough money on my credit card to go and get take out, even though I know I will regret it later. It shouldn’t be a hard decision, I have chicken in the fridge that has been thawed for days now. I’m sitting here on the couch right now and instead of thinking about the many ways I could make money, I’m thinking about what I should have for dinner. Where is my motivation? Where is the love I have for my business? Where is the motivation I had for working out? It’s like all the life got sucked out of me today. I was falling asleep sitting up in the couch while I was doing work. I feel so much guilt from that 3 hour nap but it’s what I needed. I’m short on money for rent which I need by Friday, I have so much work to do for my business it isn’t even funny, and I need to go to the gym. Even though I don’t know them personally, those are the people I know support me no matter what. I’m going to wave to the people who support me, all 3,000+ of them in that room. I’m going to be excited and embrace every emotion I feel up there. I’m going to walk that stage in March as beautiful and strong as I possibly can. ![]() I need to do everything for me from now on. I want to feel beautiful, strong, and healthy. I get to wear a beautiful gown of my choice and walk in front of thousands of other consultants for my accomplishments this year. I get to walk stage at Worl Conference in March. Like my accomplishments aren’t good enough for them. It’s almost as if I have to make myself small in front of them and I’m sick of feeling that way. They make me feel like I can’t be myself, like I can’t scream it from the rooftops. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell my other friends who aren’t a part of the company because I didn’t want to be disappointed again. I’ve gotten phone calls, text messages Insta Story shoutouts and FB posts. I may have spent time hyping this position up to my friends and parents for years but it doesn’t change the fact that all I got when I told my best friend the news was “yay, congrats!” Whereas my work family has been blowing up my Facebook, Instagram, and phone with messages of love and support. They know how much work it takes, they know what a big deal this is. But I knew the only people who would get it would be my work family. The moment I hit it I wanted to scream and share the new good news from the tallest building in the world so everyone could hear me. I have worked my butt off for 4 years in this business and 2 years to earn this position. I have officially earned a position on President’s Club which is the top 5% of our company. This weekend I hit a HUGE goal of mine at work.
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